


Blue Tears

by Ivychankasumi



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Blood, Hanahaki Disease, Jason Todd and Roy Harper Mention, M/M, Student Damian Wayne, Teacher Dick Grayson, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unrequited Love, Unrequited but there it's is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29938971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivychankasumi/pseuds/Ivychankasumi
Summary: To Damian's eyes, Dick Grayson was a fool. He was a marvelous person who deserved a lot, and yet he chose to love someone who would never love him back.Then why does Damian suffer this much every time Dick is sad? Why does it hurt when Dick coughs and coughs and he can't help him?Why is Damian stuck with this fool and his unrequited love?DickDami. One-shot. Angst. Hanahaki Disease.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Kudos: 42





	Blue Tears

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Blue Tears](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29938881) by [Ivychankasumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivychankasumi/pseuds/Ivychankasumi)



> For the "Hanahaki Disease" prompt for the DickDami week  
> Thank you so much to @starkangejr for being my beta~

What a fool.

Damian wasn't sure when he started to think of it, but now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Dick Grayson was beautiful. Really beautiful.

Damian watched him at the front of the class, writing on the blackboard and explaining in that soft, sweet voice Dick used for the rest of the class. Damian didn't need to pay attention. It was obvious that he knew such a simple topic by heart.

No, instead he liked to watch the way the black locks on Dick's forehead swayed every time he turned. Or the way his cheeks moved when he let out one of his silly bad jokes and burst into laughter.

"I doubt you'll have any trouble with next week’s test if you all read the PDFs I’ve sent you.”

The other students were all taking notes, but Damian just watched, frowning, leaning his face on one hand, as if he was bored.

Then the one thing that bothered him about Richard happened. A light knock on the door, and a man with black hair and a white streak peeked into the room.

"Professor Grayson, do you have a minute?”

"Sure, Professor Todd!”

That. The way Richard's blue eyes glowed with excitement. Dick raised his eyebrows, his smile grew smaller and more nervous, he left the class with a small gesture, as if nothing else mattered.

Damian watched him leave, and he grunted, crossing his arms in front of his desk and burying his forehead there.

God, Richard was such an idiot.

Damian had gotten into college solely for the perception of getting a degree. He didn't really need it. He was knowledgeable enough to handle either of his parents' businesses, whichever one would let him. He was their only son, so he had a lot of possibilities open to him. The only thing holding him back was his age. Too young to be taken seriously by many other idiots on the Board of directors who wanted a piece of paper to recognize his position over actual competence.

He didn't need it, but his father insisted he do this.

Damian was presented the opportunity to stay among the luxurious side of things; attend parties, and travel for a couple of years before officially joining the company. But the scene seemed so boring to him. Banal distractions that were going to ruin the skills he had gained throughout his childhood.

So he took his father's advice and enrolled to study economics.

The first year was boring. It did however keep him somewhat busy between gala events, arguing with his father's assistant –Tim Drake, who the heck did he think he was– and he was able to play a couple of video games while he attended.

But in sophomore year, entering this classroom, it was as if everything had turned completely around. It rocked his world and left him feeling so different yet the same. Damian couldn't find the source of this change until he realized it was a who, not a what.

Dick was a different adult than the ones he had encountered before. Dick was cheerful, engaging, had so much energy. But he recognized his students for their potential and their abilities. He didn't look down on them like so many other professors. Nor did he infantilize them to a point that it made someone want to scream. Nah. He was just teaching, helping, joking...

He looked like a fool to Damian.

And Damian only had to see the dreamy face with which Dick returned to the classroom to reaffirm this line of thinking.

Richard closed the door behind him with a small smile. He let out a sigh and glanced at his students, then to the blackboard in front of him. He took an extra second to reconnect everything and returned to a more natural posture.

"Where were we?”

"Class is over, Professor.” A female voice was heard at the back of the classroom.

"Didn't we have two hours today?”

"No, it's tomorrow.” Replied the boy sitting next to Damian. They didn't even wait for an answer, everyone was already putting away their notebooks.

"I see. In that case, please read well what I indicated and have a good afternoon.” The students started rushing out the door, talking to each other, or running to the next classroom they had to attend.

All except Damian. With his chin on his crossed arms, he watched as Richard slowly erased the blackboard, his mind flying elsewhere and that silly deluded smile. Dick kept it even as he turned to look at him.

"What's the matter Dami?” Treating him with that sugary nickname... "You'll be late for your next class."

"I don't have any more classes today.”

"Oh. Don't you want to go rest?”

"No... The dorms are boring.”

"You find everything boring, Dami.” He joked, returning to his desk to arrange the folders in front of him.

Damian wasn't lying. His roommates were all idiots who talked about sex and alcohol like there was nothing else in the whole world. Boring. 

Although, he wasn't staying just for that.

On Thursdays, Richard finished his class at 2 pm and wouldn't have another one until 6 pm. That gave Damian a chance to spend a little more time with him. Ask him questions about the class he already knew, sneak in a few things about his private life, and investigate what was so fascinating about a jerk of those proportions like Todd.

"You should spend a little more time with your classmates. When you get out of college they will be good connections.” Dick finally sat down at his desk. "And you should have a couple of friends too, not be alone all the time.”

"I have friends.” Damian replied, taking his chair to drag it over to the desk as well. He always did that. He settled in next to Richard. Close. Dick didn't complain, so whatever.

"Little Jon doesn't count.” Richard teased.

"Friends my age.” He replied a bit annoyed.

"Which are...?"

"Two idiots from my hometown. Who cares.” Damian could only see them on vacations when he came home. Those three were the only ones he could really stand.

"But you should have friends at school, Dami.” Richard smiled again, giving a small chuckle. He was always laughing. He really had the sweetest laugh Damian had ever heard in his entire life. He could listen to it forever... But he wasn't that lucky.

Dick's laughter was suddenly cut off by a wet cough, tilting his face to one side and covering his mouth with his hand. Of course, Damian might think that was unhygienic, but he knew the reason. As the seconds passed, the coughing continued in a long chain of harsh sounds. It was so loud, it flooded the room and Richard was beginning to have difficulty breathing. A lot to the point it seemed he would stop without help.

Damian stood up in fright, approaching the professor to try to help. To do something. But Dick held out his free palm to stop him. Damian obeyed, clenching his fists in annoyance.

At some point, the coughing subsided, and Dick reached blindly for the box of tissues on his desk.

It was always hidden. Even though Damian knew about this situation, Dick still tried to hide it from everyone. Why did he do it? Did he think that if no one found out it would just disappear? That was the reason Dick got himself into this mess, Damian was sure.

One, two, three tissues. They didn't seem to be enough, because Damian could see the floor on the other side of Richard's chair. There were drops of blood adorning the tiles and little white orchid petals adorning all around him. As if it was something beautiful when in reality, Damian couldn't have been more horrified.

"I... ugh, sorry Dami…” His voice was now breathy and raspy. His lips were painted red from the blood, and his hand still bore traces of it. "You were saying?”

"You look worse every day.” Damian said carelessly, returning to his seat. He didn't want to, but Dick would never let him do anything.

"Of course not. I've told you I feel better than before.” Every time Damian witnessed one of these coughing attacks, Richard would say the same thing. That he was better now. That he felt better. Pfft. Lies. Filthy lies.

Dick was getting paler day by day. The dark circles under his eyes that one would expect from any college student and professor had grown larger than was considered healthy. They couldn't take away the beauty of his blue eyes, but they gave warnings that Dick wasn't getting much sleep, probably because of that cough. And these attacks were getting longer and longer, and more frequent.

"Yes, of course…” Damian muttered, wanting to agree with him, but frowned, watching as Dick hid the bloody tissues in the basket with a few more completely clean ones on top.

As he finished wiping his lips, Dick pulled out that orange-colored bottle Damian hated so much. It was less than half full, of course. How could it not be so little when Damian was watching Dick take out two full tablets and drink them with barely half a cup of water? He was so used to that medicine by now.....

"But you haven't lowered your dose…” Damian reproached him, but Dick smiled at him. It was a smile that was meant to calm him, but he could see the sadness in it, and that's why he hated it.

"It's just for the pain. Wounds take some time to heal Damian.” He always said things like that.

Even if it was to watch Dick grade tests, even if they were just chatting for a couple of hours, Damian preferred to hang out with him.

What if one day Dick just started coughing and coughing until he was out of breath? He always tried to stay medicated so he wouldn't cough in front of his students. Sometimes Dick would hide in the bathroom so no one else would see the huge wound he was sure had completely invaded his respiratory system, maybe even his heart.

Someone gave two light knocks on the door. Damian turned around in annoyance, but it was only that guy Duke, the assistant principal.

"Professor. Your last group is going to attend a conference. You can leave now.” He announced in a formal and polite voice and went on his way.

"That's great. Then we don't have to stay here and talk, Dami.”

The boy felt a little embarrassed. Dick knew him well enough to know that Dami planned to stay with him all afternoon.

"Tt, whatever…” He muttered. Damian stood and waited for him, watching Dick pick up a few things in that cross-body briefcase he used. Dick dressed well. He seemed to care about how he looked, and Damian thought that sounded stupid too. Dick was already too good-looking, why would he need to look better? He had half the students whispering about what it would be like to date someone like Richard.

"Done." Dick smiled at him, and they started walking together, down the halls of the campus. "I guess you won't be going back to your dorm if you were planning on staying with me.” Damian didn't want to answer that. "What do you say we go get a drink at a nearby coffee shop then?”

"Uhm... Us?” he mumbled in surprise.

"I have to review next week's test questions, and you can and you can tell me for the fourteenth time why befriending your roomies is stupid.” Richard kept teasing him. Damian just frowned and looked away.

"You really are annoying.” Despite insulting him, Dick always laughed again. "As you wish…” Damian muttered, tightening the strap of his backpack, hanging from one shoulder. It was strange how much Damian hated his laugh, and how much he loved it.

“Excellent. I hear the vanilla latte there is delicious.” Dick kept talking, but his tone of voice was slowly getting lower and lower. Even a little nervous.

Damian turned to look at his face, which, dismayed, was staring steadily at something in front of them. That's when Damian realized why Richard's mood had changed.

Professor Todd was at the far end of the hallway, right where the parking lot began. He was leaning over with a smile, kissing his red-haired, green-eyed husband, who sat placidly on a well-kept red motorcycle. They couldn't hear the conversation well, but both looked as happy as ever.

Dick smiled, while lost in himself, and kept silent.

Damian didn't want to say much either. He took him by the arm, not so gently, and diverted the path through another part of the departments' walking area.

"This way is faster.”

"Mm? Do you know which cafeteria I'm talking about?”

"It's not like there are many around here. Don't be stubborn, just follow me.”

This was the only way Damian could divert his attention away from the subject. By taking Dick away from Todd. Walking past him, in that situation, would be the worst. Damian couldn't even begin to think of how to distract someone when the person who got them sick with Hanahaki was right there, kissing their true love?

Impossible.

“It's okay.”

But Dick was no fool. He knew what Damian was doing, precisely because he was one of the few people who knew.

"You don't have to worry Dami.” The boy turned to look at his teacher. Again that smile that tried to calm him down. "I'm fine.”

He repeated it like a mantra, probably because he wanted to believe it. But Damian didn't. He couldn't.

"I just…” Dick's eyes seemed to get lost again, surely in the image they just witnessed. Damian saw his chest spasm a couple of times and Dick put a hand to his mouth.

Oh no. Not in the hallways.

Dick started coughing and Damian turned around. He had to hide him before anyone noticed. There was a bathroom across the small garden from the Nursing section, so he hurried his pace, trying not to shake Dick, for fear of making the attack worse.

He hated this. Dick and this drama were a burden.

When they came in, Damian blocked the door from the inside, relieved that no one else was there, and Dick let his cough flow, leaning into the sink.

That looked much more severe than when it was covered. It wasn't just a few petals and droplets. The blood flowed so easily, and the harder he coughed, the bigger the cumulus of petals he released. At this rate, Damian imagined that Dick could expel practically an entire bouquet in a day.

He was squirming, seeming to lose his breath, and in his eyes, Damian could see the fear there, as Dick struggled with the air in his lungs, afraid it would run out completely at any moment.

Damian approached him, resting one hand on his back and the other on his shoulder.

"Take it easy. Take it easy.” It was when Damian saw him this way, that he couldn't take it anymore and ended up revealing in his voice how scared he was. “Let it out, take a deep breath.”

Dick was still coughing, but he tried to take long breaths of air in the small pauses of his coughing fit. He slowly regained a little color, and with watery eyes, he squeezed the sink, hard, knowing that he could never inflict on that piece of porcelain all the pain he was feeling at that moment.

When Dick finally calmed down, the scene was horrific, but they had managed not to stain the floor, nor Dick's clothes. The professor took a long, slow breath, staring at his reflection in the mirror for a few seconds. Then at Damian and his stricken face.

"I'm sorry... I think I scared you again.”

Damian couldn't answer him. He turned on the water tap and with it running, began to wipe away the evidence of this painful unrequited love.

Why had Dick fallen in love with that idiot? He didn't know.

Damian knew the things Richard himself had told him. About how they met when they were still young. Although Jason was much more aggressive and troublesome than Dick, they connected early on and became good friends. They went everywhere with their close group of teenagers and had a good time, even if they started going separate ways when they entered college.

Dick never realized how much in love he was with Jason; of his poetry, of his strength, of his impulsiveness, of his silliness. He didn't know until one day Jason showed up, hand in hand with Roy Harper, a friend they had in common.

Since then, Dick had begun to spit out a few petals. Barely a trace at first. He was prescribed some pills and started meeting new people. But Richard was still clinging to this, and the roots began to spread. They invaded the left lung first. Until the last bad fit, Dick had been honest with Damian about his condition. But he knew the right lung was reaching its limit as well now.

Originally, Damian finding out Dick had this disease was a mere accident. He learned simply because of his own insistence about following Dick everywhere, like a lost puppy. Dick promised at that time that he was "better now", that he was "getting over it" while hiding his face. But it was a lie. He was now taking double the pain meds and iron pills or he would end up fading in the middle of the day.

What a fool.

Damian didn't understand. If it was so painful, why not just forget about it?

Jason had gotten married. He was pretty sure there was nothing else to do. Richard was so attractive, sweet, and warm. Damian was sure he would get someone to love him, whoever they were, in a heartbeat. So why did Dick insist...?

At first, Damian suggested Dick have an operation that would put an end to this and get him back to his normal life. It was the first time he saw Richard angry, raising his voice in rage and horror.

Damian didn't understand it at the time. Feelings were obstacles to reaching ones goals. Wasn't it great to have a good excuse to be able to end them? Damian would do it, yes. It was a good option.

But then, as he became attached to the warmth Richard's smile emitted, now Damian didn't understand why to him, too, the possibility seemed so terrible.

If they removed Dick's flowers, roots, and feelings, everything would be fine. He would still be his teacher, he would live a long life. But Dick was going to lose that stupid personality of his, wasn't he? Forever... and ever...

"I'm sorry…” Richard whispered, wiping his hands, no longer visible traces of blood. "It's alright now, Dami.”

"Stop lying to me…” He growled quite offended, taking several paper towels to wipe them over Dick's wet face. It was hard enough to show him how frustrated he was, but not to hurt him. He wouldn't be able to. Not seeing how hurt Richard was by himself.

"Dami.” He stopped his hand, taking him by the wrist, looking into his eyes. "It's really okay. I'm... I'm sorry to get you in the middle of this. It's not something a boy your age should be worrying about…” He lowered his gaze to the ground, giving a very long sigh. Breathing was painful. "I'm sorry I'm not a better guide for you.”

Damian wanted to hit him and tell him it wasn't like that and to stop talking nonsense. But he couldn't find the strength. He just... He wished this would stop soon. He wanted it to stop.

"Just promise you'll get better, you idiot..." Damian muttered, wiping his neck too, at Dick's kind look.

"It's okay, it's okay.” He said it in a voice that tried to cheer him up, but it was impossible.

Damian buried the stained towels under the wet ones in the wastebasket. Dick kept looking at the mirror. What was he pondering as he looked so intensely at himself?

"We'd better get home…”

"I promised to buy you a drink.”

"I am perfectly capable enough to buy myself a drink. I have fifty times the money you probably have.” It was aggressive. He didn't mean to be. Damian ran a hand over his forehead. "Tt. Just... it's not necessary. It's better to go home.”

"But…”

"What are we supposed to do if you have another one of these attacks in the middle of the cafeteria? You always get worse in the afternoon.” He pushed Dick by the shoulders, to get him out of the bathroom. "Go, lie down, check that stupid test in bed or something.”

Dick looked back at his young student, wanting to refuse, but Damian looked so upset. Ah...he had to stop worrying him like that.

It wasn't Damian's fault that Richard had stupidly fallen in love with someone who would never love him in the same way.

"Okay, okay…” He agreed with another small laugh, being led by Damian into the now empty parking lot to his car.

Damian had the dorm nearby, but he wanted to make sure Richard got into his blue Volkswagen beetle first.

"Go straight home.” Damian demanded pointing at his face.

"Alright.”

"And get some rest.”

"Alright, alright.”

"Richard…”

"I promise!” He gave him another one of those mocking smiles, as he started his car. "You should be more respectful and start calling me "Professor Grayson" like everyone else.”

"Ugh.” Damian grimaced. "I will when you respect yourself.”

"Ouch! Damian!” He groaned in surprise, before letting out another laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow, little guy. Stop being so angry.”

Damian rolled his eyes and watched him disappear behind the university gate.

He just wanted this nightmare to be over soon…

* * *

Damian wasn't exactly having the best night in the universe. Knowing what grade Richard's Hanahaki was in had left him tossing and turning in his bed until after five in the morning. It was a lucky thing that his classes for the day didn't start until ten o'clock.

He took the laziest shower in the universe and looked over the details of the tile as he remembered Richard's faded smile. Getting paler and paler, thinner and thinner, weaker and weaker.

He wished he had some way to slow it down, but did it exist? 

No. Probably not.

That was the worst thing about this disease. There were only two people who could stop it. The one who could reciprocate those feelings. Or the sick person himself who could give these up... almost always by going under the knife.

But Damian didn't want that. He didn't want to lose Richard. Even if they gave him back his health, he knew that only a shell would come out of there. He couldn't bear it... He couldn't.

Damian didn't even feel like eating breakfast, even though he knew he should.

Like every day, he just wanted to get to school and hide Richard from everyone else's eyes. The only thing he could protect him from.

Slightly jaded, he noticed a mild commotion in one of the gardens, near the parking lot. People up ahead were whispering, but some curious onlookers were just staring ahead. Was it another silly market to help the students? Or had another millionaire arrived to join the semester? God, hopefully not. It annoyed him so much to have to see familiar faces here.

"What do they have now?” He asked the first boy he could get close to.

"You didn't see it?” Damian shook his head in denial, as he mentally slapped his face. He asked for a reason. The boy continued. "An ambulance just left.”

"An ambulance?”

"One of the professors collapsed in the middle of his class about an hour ago. They say he was bleeding, but the professors wouldn't let any more details leak out.”

Damian froze in place, as this stranger raised his shoulders in a shrug.

"They must have taken him to the southern hospital. It's the closest. What do you think he has?” But he didn't get an answer, because Damian pushed his way through the crowd.

Shit, shit, shit. It was Richard, wasn't it!?

"Hey! Hold it right there.” Todd stopped him by the shoulders. He had blood all over his vest and looked as upset as Damian was.

Fuck, he didn't need another confirmation.

Damian gave him a hard shove, escaping his hold and continued to run until he got to his black sports car, the one he always had stashed there for the rare occasions he went off-campus and tossed the backpack into the backseat. No one tried to stop him. He figured none of them connected that Damian was after that ambulance.

He didn't think about a single one of the traffic signals. He just stepped on the gas pedal and dodged anyone who got in his way, even if he got several insults along the way.

Shit, shit, Richard... He had promised he would be better. He promised...

Although Damian had to park far from the entrance, he ended up running with all his strength to the emergency ward. More than one curious glance turned to see the agitated boy leaning against the counter, talking to one of the nurses.

"Richard.” He said to her without much concern for politeness at a time like this. "Richard Grayson, is he here? Was he brought here?”

The nurse, not in a very good mood, looked at him, raising an eyebrow. She checked a list and nodded.

"Where is he? I need to go see him!”

"Relationship and ID.”

"What?” He had his driver's license, but he wasn't his relative.

"Relationship and ID.”

"I don't... It's just…”

"If you're not a relative, you can't come in.” She put down the wooden clipboard in his hand and went back to the computer and its records.

"Please, I need to get in to see him.” But the woman began to ignore him. The older nurses had the worst patience of all. "Please, I'm an acquaintance of his. I just want to know how he's doing, please.” But she still wouldn't look at him. "Please!” He demanded in frustration, and the woman didn't like that.

Damian knew that look, surely she was about to call security. He couldn't take that risk either. He was so frustrated. Dick... Dick... That fucking asshole...

"Why are you looking for our son?” Came a deep, distressed voice, from behind him in the waiting room seats. Damian turned to see two grown adults, both of whom he could recognize Richard perfectly in their features.

"I... ah…” He gave the nurse one last hateful look, to walk towards them. "I am one of his students. Damian Wayne, nice to meet you.” He extended his hand. The handshake he got back was just as tense as his own. “I'm sorry to have to introduce myself like this.”

"No, no... Richard has told us a couple of times about you. The millionaire's son, right?”

"Yes... Although I don't think that helps too much at the moment.” After an inviting gesture from the mother, he took the free seat next to them. “Do you... have any news of him?”

"No... We arrived a few minutes ago. They said that he was already stable, but the doctor is doing some tomographies…”

"They…” Mrs. Grayson interrupted. "They say it's an advanced case of Hanahaki.” Damian swallowed dryly when he heard them. "I don't understand... Richard never mentioned anything like that... He came home for the weekend. Why didn't he say anything?”

"Did you know about it, young man?” The father was asking him straight out. Damian didn't think he was going to like the answer, but lies weren't going to help Dick right now.

He nodded weakly and looked down, clenching his fists on his knees.

"He...he told me a while back. It was an accident. I... I had no idea he hadn't told his family either…”

The woman grabbed his shoulder in an act of comfort. Ah. That's where Richard's warmth and kindness came from even in such terrible situations.

"I don't think any of us could have imagined it.”

It's just... How could someone so wonderful suffer from unrequited love to this degree? How?

"We can only be patient.” Said the father, folding his arms and staring at an empty spot.

Neither of them lost their composure. Damian mimicked them, staring at the gleaming white floor.

As the minutes ticked by, people came and went. Stretchers were coming in, but he didn't see others leaving, and that made him sick.

Everything was fine. They weren't coming out because people were recovering and leaving on foot, that was all. Dick was fine. Maybe he just had a coughing attack in front of the class and the panic of slowing it down made him lose his breath. That was all.

There was still time for Dick to turn back. There was still a chance.

Two whole hours passed before a nurse called Richard's parents. Damian stood up too, waiting to see if he was welcome. Dick's father turned to see him as soon as the nurse asked if the brother was planning to come in as well. It was fortunate that it was a different woman than the one at the desk.

"Of course. He came all this way.” The woman gave him a little wave, and Damian followed them gratefully, walking behind them to be respectful. They reached a room almost to the back of the ward, and when they opened the door, there he was lying, looking paler than Damian remembered.

The IV was attached to his arm, and an oxygen mask covered his beautiful lips.

Dick could no longer... breathe on his own properly, could he?

"We did some imaging and the disease has taken root in both lungs, almost completely. The flowers are about to reach the level of the epiglottis.” The doctor turned on the negatoscope, that bright box, and placed Dick's CT scans. Dick was so invaded that it was hard to think that he had managed to stay up for so long.

"How... how bad is it?” whispered his mother, her heart pounding and tears on the verge of falling.

"If we don't do an operation soon, it will reach the heart and there will be nothing to do. He would have only... a few more weeks to live.”

A little sob from the woman, who bit her lip to not whine anymore. Not in front of the doctor. Not at a time when they needed so much strength. Her husband took her by the hand.

"The operation... Is it the only way, doctor?”

"I'm afraid so…”

Mr. Grayson also seemed to want to cry, but he squeezed his wife's hand, trying to keep his composure. One of them had to make this terrible decision.

To do the operation meant ripping every scrap of feelings that existed from their beloved son's heart. Richard would become a living dead man, unable to connect properly with the people around him. Barely a shell of what he once was.

"When...? When can you operate...?”

"What?” Damian had to jump this time. "No, you can’t do the operation.”

"And why not?” John Grayson's voice was incredulous and certainly a bit annoyed.

"Dick wouldn't want that.” But Damian was annoyed too. He could remember the horror in Dick's voice when he gave him that option. “He said he would never, ever allow it. That he couldn't live that way. He couldn't do it!”

“Then I must let my son die!?” He replied, raising his voice. His wife squeezed his hand, not glancing at the argument. It wasn't the place to lose her temper.

"I... it's not…”

"I think this is a decision for my family to make.” He turned his back on Damian, hugging his wife by the shoulders and approaching the doctor.

Damian understood perfectly. He was abusing the Graysons' kindness by letting him stay here. It was a nice gesture to let him in to see his professor, but he had no vote. Even if he was telling the truth.

“Tt…” He took one last look at Dick, at his pale, tired, haggard face, and left the room back to the waiting room.

He sat down heavily and ran a hand across his forehead, squeezing his hair between his fingers.

Why, why did Dick let this escalate like this?

How could he, being so wonderful, handsome, and talented, let love consume him like this? At the cost of losing all his feelings?

What was going to happen now? Was Richard going to die? Was Richard going to lose his beautiful heart?

Was Jason Todd really worth this much? Was he worth this pain and suffering that Richard was generating for himself and his parents?

Dick was such a jerk! How could he allow this with all the wonderful future he had ahead of him? With so many who loved and cherished him?

No one was worth suffering this! No one was worth enough to someone where they have to give themselves up like this! Give up their health! Their feelings!

Especially not someone as wonderful as Richard...

Why?

Why did you do this Richard?

Damian felt a heavy pain in his chest, burning and pressing against his throat as he gritted his teeth in anger. The pressure was growing like a rumbling storm as the fear of having not appreciated that smile one last time invaded his mind and heart. He couldn't breathe...

The pressure reached such a degree that Damian tried to sigh, but instead, he felt an uncomfortable tingling rise in his throat and force him to cough loudly.

He covered his lips immediately as he realized it, trying not to alert anyone in the staff.

He half-opened his eyes in confusion, and to his horror, he had to look at his hand.

On his palm were three bloodstains.

And two small orange dahlia petals.

" ... Haha... " He had to laugh ironically, unable to look away.

What a fool.

**Author's Note:**

> Jason Todd was just vibing and then he caused two deaths (?)  
> I really like the concept of Hanahaki disease so, maybe this is not my last work about it.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> You can follow me on Twitter as @softieandstupid.


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